


Six Reasons To Hate The World

by SwAgAmAnDeR



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrid AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-12 15:21:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2114895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwAgAmAnDeR/pseuds/SwAgAmAnDeR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>See, the one thing nobody ever fully understands until they themselves Transform, was that becoming a hybrid changes you - not only physically, but mentally, too. Suddenly, the human in you is squished into only half of the space it should be, and the other half is pure animal. Usually, the louder, more bold side wins, and if it is the animal side, this could lead to drastic personality changes. A tragic example of this phenomenon is Ray Narvaez Jr. /// inspired by padalickingood's hybrid au</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Instincts

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, this fic exhibit what each of the six men hated most after they transformed into hybrids.

The instincts.

That was what Ray hated the most about being a rabbit hybrid. Not the long ears that sprouted from his scalp like sunflowers or the relentless stream of joke from his coworkers. Not his constant urge to hibernate in the winter or the way his rabbit parts became the main focus of way too many cases of foreplay between him and his five boyfriends. Sure, those things were huge pains in his fluffy-tailed ass, but they were nothing compared to the one thing that every single hybrid, no matter their breed or age, had to deal with.

Ray hated the way he jumped at every single slammed door. He hated the way he was constantly twitchy and paranoid while around other people. He hated the way he had to be escorted out of RTX multiple times because he had begun to have panic attacks whenever a particularly predatory hybrid approached the Rooster Teeth booth.

Much to his dismay, his coworkers found out almost immediately upon Ray's return to work after his Transformation that he had the constant jitteriness of someone who relied on energy drinks for their nutrition. There were now countless RT Life's, and even a 15-minute fan-made compilation of Ray jumping out of his skin every single time any Rooster Teeth employee had five minutes of free time. Ray Narvaez Jr. was no coward, but when someone snuck up behind him, he could not control himself. He found solice in his fellow rodent friend, Kerry, and, depending on their energy level, his boyfriends.

The worst of the worst, the thing that brought him to the highest level of self-loathing, however, was the way he acted around his lovers.

They could always tell when Ray was silently fighting against his instincts, using all of his willpower to will away the cloud of anxiety that would stay there for as long as he was a rabbit (which is to say, forever). Whenever Gavin's nails-on-a-chalkboard screeching got particularly loud or excessive, Ray would just sit quietly at his desk, his foot tapping at the speed of a weed-whacker's blade, the pencil in his hand being tapped against his desk at double that speed.

During Gavin's molting season when Jack stayed up well into the early hours of the morning helping the lyrebird-hybrid preen his wings, Ray had to be especially careful not to look at the lion-hybrid for too long. If he did, then Jack might yawn while still in Ray's view. If that happened, then Ray might accidentally catch a glimpse of the enormous teeth that could bite into his neck like cotton candy, slicing through his arteries like overcooked spaghetti, crushing his windpipe like an empty water bottle. Ray would be forced to turn back around to his desk as quickly as possible, squeezing his eyes shut like metal clamps, mentally screaming at the top of his lungs to the rabbit part of his brain to stop it, stop it, stop it, these are your boyfriends, they _love_ you.

The rabbit part of his brain that he wasn't always sure was actually rabbit because of how vile it was would hiss back, _That's true. But they won't forget._ Ray would shiver. He would be sure his long ears were visibly twitching by that time. The man didn't have complete control of his rabbit-self yet. He had only gone through the Transformation a little under seven months ago. Incidents like this one were still possible.

His mind would replay back to when Jack had Transformed five months back and Ray skipped work for almost a full week, his cowardice rabbit instincts even more prominent back then than the present. Jack would never forget the look of absolute fear on his younger crush's face when he decided to confront Ray about a week later while the young man was sitting alone in the office kitchen. Gavin would never forget how Ray involuntarily curled into himself when he showed off his wings for the first time since Ray Transformed. Michael would never forget the pitiful noise Ray made when the cat-hybrid, claws out, play-tackled him from behind. Geoff would never forget-

"Come on,"

And then Ray would be pulled out of his quicksand thoughts by those soft words and a gentle tug on his wrist.

It could be any of his boyfriends that would pull him out of his panicky haze, but chances are it would probably be Ryan, since he would be the least threatening to the rabbit instincts that would still be plaguing Ray's mind.

And then the longhorn would quietly take his dazed boyfriend out of the office, careful not to notify the others so the guilt would be left to a minimum, and to the small broom closet around the corner from the Achievement Hunter office. Ryan and Ray would sit for a half an hour at the most, Ryan simply whispering soothing praises into the younger man's oversized ears until his anxiety lowered back down to a dull throb and Ray was almost back to the carefree person he was seven months ago. Ray would then make some immature joke about how gay they were, and Ryan would laugh before leading him back to their office.

It was memories like these that Ray held close and used to remind himself that even if his instincts sucked, atleast his boys were there to help him through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for sucky endings  
> so i got this idea a long long time ago and thanks to procrastination, it is just now coming out. I'm posting one chapter a day.  
> As per usual, questions and comments and constructive criticism is welcomed  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Feel free to send in prompts at swagamandersabode.tumblr.com


	2. Claws

When later asked in an impromptu cuddle session to describe the noise Ray made, Michael could not even come close to describing the horror, the dread, the panic, the helplessness that had all come out in one short, half-a-second shriek from his younger boyfriend. People scared Ray all the time, taking advantage of his rabbit-ness by making him shit his pants at every open opportunity. Ray was o.k with it for the most part. The videos of his colleagues tackling him from behind as he threw out strings of curse words that challenged Michael's own vocabulary were some of the most viewed RT Lifes' on the whole Rooster Teeth channel. And yet the one time Michael decided to have some fun and scare him, Ray was just short of having a panic attack.

"It's the claws," Michael had his head buried in Geoff's chest, utterly defeated. He had already spent the last 15 minutes crying like a baby, and now he was in that weird numb state that always occurs after having a self-loathing crying spell, "And the fangs. I hate them,"

"Don't say that," Geoff lightly ran his fingers through Michael's curly hair, "We love _all_ of you, cat _and_ human, and you should too,"

"But I've hurt you guys, Geoff," Michael tried to push himself further into his lover's chest, tears prickling the edges of his eyes.

Memories seared themselves into Michael's brain. He remembered the straight-lined scar running down Gavin's left wing (where, Michael couldn't help but notice, feathers still weren't growing) from when the cat-hybrid freaked out a little too much at the notion of flying. He remembered the painful scratches that flowed down Jack's back like mountains of red flesh after a particularly, er, _pleasurable_ round of sex. He remembered how Ryan was now the only one of his boys that he could give lovebites because the goddamn longhorn in him had the thickest skin. He remembered, most recently, the look of pure terror on Ray's face when he snuck up behind him.

"I hate hurting you guys, Geoff,"

"Hurting us? Michael, you've never _hurt_ us," Geoff was scratching the spot behind Michael's ear that would have had him melting under the older man's touch, had he been more emotionally stable at the moment, "Hurting us would be doing something bad, and then doing nothing to try and make it better. Have you seen the size of Gavin's wings? They're huge! You make one tiny little scratch on them and then wait on Gavin on your hands and knees to make up for it. When the thing happened with Jack, you followed him around all day with Neosporin and ice. Michael, we see you're sorry, and that's all that matters,"

Michael could feel the soothing hum of Geoff's voice through the ram-hybrid's chest, "But what about Ray?"

After seeing the look of total fear and resign on his boyfriend's face, Michael, realizing what he'd done, backpedaled right on out of their office. He hadn't heard from Ray since then, Michael just assumed Ray - or at least the rabbit part of Ray - was scared of him. He might even hate him. Michael didn't know what he would do if that happened.

"Michael," Geoff sighed. He still had his younger boyfriend paised to his chest, and he was lightly running his fingers down his back, chest - wherever he thought would calm the man down the most at the moment, "You know as well as anybody about instincts. You can't control some of them, and neither can Ray or anybody else,"

"But what if-"

"Ray doesn't hate you. I promise. He was just startled, and honestly he probably feels just as bad,"

"Really?" Michael looked up at Geoff skeptically. "Really," Geoff was still petting Michael, both of them slowly drifting into a state of content so deep that neither of them noticed when Ryan walked into the room ten minutes later.

Ryan cleared his throat and reached his hand up to lightly rub the back of his horn. That, his boyfriends had noticed, was a nervous habit he had picked up since the transformation, "Hey, Michael. Ray's in the bedroom, and, uh, he wants to apologize for earlier. In person,"

Michael stood up nervously, reluctant to leave his lover's warm hold. He couldn't help but catch Geoff's smirk out of the corner of his eye as he walked away.

"Told you so,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> extremely out of character wow  
> yep nobody is ever happy in my mind  
> n o b o d y  
> the amount of kudos this got in just one measly day literally made me fall over! Thank you very much! please feel free to comment or send me prompts at swagamandersabode.tumblr.com  
> not swagamander.tumblr.com  
> sadly that one is not mine and is a porn blog


	3. Jokes

"There are a lot worse things in the world to happen to you,"

That is what Ryan told himself over and over as he prepared himself to begin his trek.

It was two o'clock in the afternoon at RTX and Ryan, like most people do after holding it in for 6+ hours, had to use the bathroom. _Now_.

Leaving the safety of the booth was a struggle for every Rooster Teeth employee (or really any celebrity, for that matter), some of them even vowed to never use the public restrooms at RTX ever again. However, there was one thing that none of them except for Ryan had to deal with.

_The Edgar Jokes_.

True, most of them were harmless, but they had started getting old long before anybody had begun to undergo the Transformation, and after Ryan grew horns to match his Minecraft companion, the entire company was bombarded with "jokes" and comments about the Mad King and his faithful cow. As far as Ryan was concerned, it was an aggravating annoyance that would probably never go away.

The fans were more lenient when Ryan was with other employees; either they were too distracted by his fellow comedians or they were too scared to try and make any long-dead jokes around such a large group of people that probably wouldn't find it funny. But when Ryan was alone...

The man's bladder was about to explode, so he decided to buck up and just go take a bathroom break already. Before he Transformed, he would have slipped on a hoodie, maybe worn some sunglasses. Now that he had foot-and-a-half long horns on either side of his head, it was impossible to go unnoticed. It was a good thing that he was relatively tall, otherwise he would have to worry about blinding a lot more people in crowded places.

He was half-way to the public restrooms, which were considerably closer than the employee-only ones, when he got stopped for the first time.

"Oh, hey, look! It's Edgar!" Ryan turned around to see a lizard-hybrid girl with red scales blanketing her face, "Wait...It's Ryan!"

Ryan decided to humor the girl, and gave her a half-hearted smile and a deadpan "moo". She turned back around to her friends, satisfied. Ryan continued on to the bathroom, not quite ready for a day filled with mentions of holes, an evil king, and a cow with an old-fashioned name.

* * *

 

By the time Ryan got home that night, he, as well as his other five boyfriends, were exhausted. Well, everyone except for Ray, for whatever reason.

After they had all settled into their huge bed, the youngest man climbed on top of the longhorn-hybrid and whispered into his ear, "I want you in my hole, Edgar,"

Ryan groaned and pushed Ray off of him, "Oh my god, I can't believe you just said that,"

Ray snickered.

"You're lucky I love you, otherwise you would totally be sleeping on the couch tonight,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the opinions of edgar jokes expressed in this fic do not represent the actual opinions of ryan or any of his colleagues  
> man, i really do love short chapters, don't I? The next one is much larger, I promise. Also, it will focus around lifespans so get your little angst-loving hearts ready, lads, ladies, and gents.  
> comments and constructive-criticism would make me very happy and so would sending me prompts at swagamandersabode.tumblr.com! Thank you for reading


	4. Lifespans

Becoming one of the first hybrids in the world was scary.

First there was the splitting pain and fever that was supposed to go away but didn't. Well, Gavin supposed it did, but it sure didn't leave him human. Gavin was thankful every day that he didn't go to the hospital like Geoff and Michael wanted him to when his fever reached a whopping peak of 107 degrees fahrenheit. He was sure that if he had, he would have ended up like the countless others that did: in a government testing facility, deported, or dead.

And then came the terror and disbelief of waking up with real, actual wings on his back and a feathery tail sprouting from the bottom of his spine. He could not help the scream that bellowed from his lungs upon realizing this. Geoff ran into the room, but came to a halting stop when he saw the feathery appendages.

Gavin, as well as Michael and Geoff (the only ones who knew of his changes), live in fear for months. Although the same exact words might not have been used to say it, Gavin was a freak. There was no way every single person in the world would accept Gavin or let him live a normal life now that he was half bird. And Geoff and Michael? Boy, were they _scared_ \- not only for Gavin, but for themselves, too. What would happen if someone somehow found out, and the government began to question why Geoff was hiding the mutated foreigner? What if the fans found out? What if it was contagious?

Gavin stayed hidden in Geoff's home for three and a half weeks before it became obvious that the wings and tail were not going away. They could only lie and say to the fans that he was on vacation for so long. They could avoid their coworkers' questions of where he _really_ was for an even shorter period of time.

26 days after Gavin's fever went away and left something even more baffling in its place, Geoff, Gavin, and Michael made the desicion to tell the remaining three Achievement Hunters of their British friend's predicament. He had to return to work _some_ time, and if the Achievement Hunters knew, it would make keeping his wings hidden at work much easier.

Thankfully they took it well.

Four days passed and Ryan, who sometimes seemed to be the only smart one in the Achievement Hunter office, presented to the rest of the group some news articles he had found online. Turns out, cases like Gavin's were happening all over the globe.

The next morning Burnie Burns walked into the offices of Rooster Teeth Productions with a sour look on his face, red cheeks, and two horns protruding from either side of his head.

Gavin didn't have to hide anymore.

A year later, Gavin felt as if he had Transformed 50 years ago. So much had happened since then. There had been the slow process of the entire office Transforming. There were the hordes of Jehovah's Witnesses who slinked around neighborhoods for months, preaching to "clean" families that if they worshipped _their_ God, they would stay human. Then there was the "Hybrid Extraction Act", which gave hybrids the same rights as, well, animals (it only stayed in place before the president himself became part border collie).

The past year was _very_ scary. But if you were to ask Gavin, he'd say the scariest was yet to come.

They were the first generation of hybrids, and there was one thing that no one knew: lifespans.

According to Google, Gavin found out that most rabbits lived between seven to ten years. His heart sank as he read that. He wouldn't be able to bear it if poor Ray died of old age only _seven_ years from now.

There wasn't much on the internet about lyrebirds, but from what Gavin could decipher, they lived about 20 years on average. That was enough to out live most - if not all - of his boys. Gavin became terrified.

Even though he knew how annoying it was, Gavin became clingy. He spent every waking moment with his boys, usually Ray or Michael, who would live the shortest if Gavin's theory was correct. It didn't take long for them to notice.

"O.k, Vav," Gavin's five boyfriends had just returned from lunch, which he was unable to go to since he was working on Red vs. Blue stuff that hour. Ray was the first one back. Gavin's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree when he heard his voice behind him, "You've been following all of us, especially me, around like a puppy the past few weeks. I know that we _are_ all part animal, but you're not a puppy, you're a bird. Maybe it's just bird hormones or something, but I highly doubt that. Seriously, what's up?"

"I just love you guys is all," Gavin took a step towards Ray to prove his point, and felt a twinge of anxiety when he stepped away.

"Seriously Gavin, something's wrong with you. You didn't start acting like this until a few weeks ago. Please tell me?"

Gavin mulled over the pros and cons of telling him for a few moments before eventually deciding what was best, "I guess I'm...scared,"

"Of what?" Ray knitted his eyebrows together, and, now that he was concerned, took a step towards Gavin.

"...You guys," Gavin gnawed at his lip.

Ray's face melted into an expression of compassion and worry, "Scared of _us_? Is it the instincts? Whatever it is, we can try to-"

"No, no, it's not the instincts," Gavin's eyes were glued to the floor.

"Well what is it then?"

"I...I just don't-" Gavin gulped down a breath of air, "Have you ever thought of the long-term effects of becoming hybrids?"

"What?" Ray looked confused, "What does this have to do with-"

"You know, your brain, your kids, your _lifespan_? Have you ever thought of that?"

Silence filled the room.

"Well, I have," Gavin was barely holding himself together, "And I am _terrified_ that one of us will die long before we should,"

Ray blinked, processing what his boyfriend just told him, before speaking up, "We don't know what will happen, Gavin, but-"

The lyrebird-hybrid felt himself growing edgier. He couldn't believe he was actually telling Ray this, "Don't say that it'll all be o.k, Ray, because what if it's not? You know, I looked it up and - and rabbits sometimes only live seven years. Ray, what if you _die_ in six and a half years?" Gavin could feel himself getting more worked up than he should be, the anxious topic mixed with his instincts putting him on the edge of hysteria.

Ray had a blank, perhaps pitiful, look on his face as he slowly grabbed Gavin's shoulders and rested their foreheads together, "We can't tell the future, Gavin. We don't know if I'll die in six years, or 20 years, or 60 years. Maybe soon scientists will find out, but all we can do right now is make the most of _now_ ," Ray slowly exhaled and shut his eyes, "And Gavin, making the most of the present isn't done by doting on me, or any of the others, every chance you get. I love you, Gavin. Can we please go back to how we were before?"

"But I'm just so _scared_ , X-Ray," the older man squeaked. He absentmindedly let his head fall further towards his lover's.

"I know, Vav," Ray's voice was barely audible, yet it was all that Gavin could hear, "I am too,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting this so late; the first tennis practice of the season was today and things got a little crazy.  
> So, yeah, I realize that the notes on the previous chapter were a bit misleading and this chapter is not as angst filled as you may have thought. Sorry bout that. However, in my opinion the last line is a real feels killer. But maybe that's just me.  
> As said in the previous three chapters, please comment/review/kindly-critisize and send me prompts at swagamandersabode.tumblr.com.  
> Thank you for reading!


	5. Cravings

Of all the animals he could have become, no one really expected Jack to become a lion. Sure, they could see how the two were connected. Both were big. Both had excessive facial hair. Both were (at times) cuddly. But, a predatory animal? That was not Jack at all.

So, when Jack walked into the office one day complete with a mane and horribly sharp teeth, everyone was a little worried.

See, the one thing nobody ever fully understands until they themselves Transform, was that becoming a hybrid _changes_ you - not only physically, but mentally, too. Suddenly, the human in you is squished into only half of the space it should be, and the other half is pure animal. Usually, the louder, more bold side wins, and if it is the animal side, this could lead to drastic personality changes. A tragic example of this is Ray. The carefree, laidback human in him s simply overpowered at times by the constantly screaming rabbit that takes up a majority of his brain.

It wasn't really uncommon for people who became predatory hybrids to become vile after their Transformation. Hipsters who normally wore flower crowns and danced in the moonlight now regularly beat up people in alley ways. Shy kids who could barely talk to their classmates now had to restrain themselves from attempting murder. Former vegetarians now went to the woods bi-weekly and ate squirrels that they hunted down with their own bare hands. It left the whole office wondering: would Jack be more violent than he was before?

It soon became clear that the answer was no, as less than a week after his Transformation occurred, he was back to his good ol' regular self. If anything, he was even more affectionate than he was previously.

Jack knew that he got a good deal on instincts. He knew that he should _not_ be complaining. But there was one thing about him that happened from time-to-time that he could not _stand._

Anyone with a third grade education or higher could tell you that a lion is a carnivore. And what do carnivores eat? Meat.

Now, Jack wasn't about to go down and just chow down on a steak right in front of Ryan. He was still civilized, and he was still human. But that didn't mean he didn't get cravings.

Sometimes when someone would go for lunch and get the occasional hamburger or chicken sandwich (they only ate stuff like that once a month, with their boyfriend being a type of cow and their ceo being a rooster), the air would be filled with the smell of meat and his tastebuds would begin to water at the thought of what it would taste like in _his_ mouth.

These cravings had the same habits as those of a pregnant woman's; "I could _kill_ for a steak right now," was one of the most common things he found himself muttering to himself, "Not literally kill, though,"

Sometimes he would go over to the bear-hybrid, Adam Ellis's house, and they would just sit and play video games and munch on raw beef and beer for night. It was enough to curb both of their cravings for a while.

His boyfriends insisted time and time again that it was o.k, Jack could eat whatever he wants. It only took one night of Jack eating a hamburger for dinner for it to become clear that this was not the case. After they Transformed, everyone except for Jack and Michael mysteriously stopped eating meat. Jack couldn't help but notice the slightly uncomfortable looks on his boyfriends' faces as he ate.

The cravings were never dangerous, only annoying.

Jack supposed he could live with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could you tell I struggled writing this one?  
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Love

Geoff had always been the stable one.

In the office, in the relationship, and even in the early Rooster Teeth days, Geoff had always had a calming aura about him.

When Gavin Transformed, Geoff somehow managed to stay calm, and held Gavin close as he sobbed and screamed in fear.

When Geoff really thought about it, he supposed that it was his calming effect that got all six of them together in the first place.

Geoff and Jack had always fit together like puzzle pieces. The starting of Achievement Hunter was no problem for them, they hardly ever fought, and if they did, it was for the camera only. Sometimes Geoff truly wondered if something other than companionship was possible between the two. That thought was quickly dismissed. This whole thing they had was strictly business, and Geoff wouldn't dare risk the fragile, brand-new Achievement Hunter concept by throwing something as complicated as a relationship onto it.

But then, one day a boy named Gavin Free decided to move to America.

Gavin was nearly half Geoff's age, yet he was doing things that the entire film industry had never seen before. Not only that, but he was also crucial to Red vs. Blue. Burnie insisted that he moved over to America ASAP.

However, as amazing as he may have been, he was young, not rich, and not a U.S citizen. He would have to stay at someone's house.

Now, Geoff had met Gavin a few times and the one thing he noticed about him was, well, he could be annoying. He knew that most of his colleagues would either a.) not want to deal with him 24/7, or b.) not want their spouse and kids to have to deal with him 24/7. Plus, he figured the kid would enjoy having the freedom to do practically whatever he wanted without having to worry about curfew of having a child in the house.

So, Geoff decided to take one for the team and volunteer to let Gavin stay in his home.

Things went well. Him and Gavin got along pretty good, however unlike his relationship with Jack, they fought sometimes. Something about the situations, though, maybe the air, the words, the facial expressions, let them both know that neither of them really meant it.

After a while, Geoff found himself having _romantic feelings_ for Gavin, but horrifically, the ones he felt for Jack never went away.

"Repressed feelings" was a common phrase in Geoff's inner monologue at that time.

* * *

 

Now fast forward a few years, and the Achievement Hunter office was a mess. The concept had by far taken off, the employees had grown from only two to nine. Four of them (Gavin, Geoff, Michael, and Lindsay) had already Transformed. However, something other than various animal stinks was brewing in the office. They were still cramped into their tiny room in Building 636, and although the fans begged to differ, still not dating. That didn't mean they weren't flirting, though. Every heckle, every tease sent a weird burst of glee into Geoff's heart. He noticed for the first time how pretty Ryan's eyes were when the sun shone on them, he noticed how cute Ray's frustrated face was when he died in a video game, he noticed the looks on Michael and Gavin's faces when they glanced at each other. Somehow, he got the vibe that the others weren't thinking too differently themselves.

Ray was the first one to snap.

"You know," He stood up from his editing suddenly, disturbing the otherwise quiet room, "I can't take this anymore,"

Geoff, as well as the other four men, turned to face him, "Don't worry, becoming a hybrid really doesn't hurt that bad, and there are lots of perks, like-"

"No," Ray's voice was loud, "No, I don't give a shit about becoming a goddamned animal anymore. What I'm saying, is that I can't take _this_ ," he moved his hand in a circle, "anymore,"

Ray's five colleagues were silent.

"Come on," His voice wavered slightly, "Don't tell me I'm the only one who notices. The looks, the jokes, the feelings. You guys see it too, right?"

Geoff did. And he knew the others did too.

And then, Geoff was their rock, the only calm, coaxing one as they all slowly confessed their feelings and their relationship started.

* * *

 

A few months pass, they all Transform, they get a new office building and three more Achievement Hunters, and Geoff isn't sure that he can be the stable one anymore.

His boys are not the same.

They are more dreary, less happy, more angry, more edgy since their Transformations, and Geoff watched them change into people they would have never become had this whole thing never happened.

He loved them, and he still loves them. Or at least, that's what he tells himself.

He stays up late at night, even later than the occasional insomniacs Ryan and Ray, because he loved _them_. Sleep is the one place where Ray is not plagued by anxiety, Michael is not constantly in fear of hurting someone, Ryan is not resentful of his horns, Jack doesn't have to worry about making his boyfriends uneasy, and Gavin doesn't have to fret about the future. Likewise, sleep is the one place where Geoff can escape his troubles, but he finds the whole idea of all of his boyfriends being at peace all at once too mystifying to miss.

He's not too sure what happened to his boyfriends.

He know's their old selves are still in there somewhere, but where?

He hates to say it, and he hates to use Ray as the goddamn example for everything, but the Ray Geoff fell in love with is not the one that almost darts out of the room if you poke him from behind and he doesn't know you're there.

Geoff doesn't know what to do.

He's not sure how much longer he can take this, because he is not happy in _this_ relationship anymore.

Geoff loved Jack.

Geoff loved Gavin.

Geoff loved Ray.

Geoff loved Michael.

Geoff loved Ryan.

And that is why he hates the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well there you have it folks. The ending of six reasons to hate the world.  
> i dont even know. i wasn't really sure how to write this one. im a big believer in symbolism and readers finding the meaning to things themselves, but if you were very confused by this chapter just let me know and ill do my best to explain.  
> as far as continuations go, this will probably be the end of six reasons to hate the world, however I will probably make more hybrid au fics, explaining things like the lifespan theory or other fluff or angst I come up with. In the mean time, I have a few more ah ot6 ideas that are original that I plan on writing out in the near future.  
> thank you all so so much for reading! At the time of me posting this, it already has 79 kudos, and that is more than I could ever ask for. Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. :)


End file.
